me, talking.
music video recs

Well, it took a tablespoon of Maalox ($1 at the student pharmacy), two capsules of kava-kava, and an hour-long nap, but I did accomplish my 4-mile-round-trip hike to get my course packet, and while I was down there I found the health food store and bought two ears of corn and soy cheese and a couple of fruit leathers.

With this last class today (intro to sustainable development) the last piece of the puzzle fell into place and I realized that I have the dream team of classes. They're all interlocking, approaching the questions I asked on my course application (where did we come from? what are our choices for where to go from here?) from incrementally different angles.

Conflict time. It turns out my parents have been reading this thing. I'm going to check IP addresses & see if they quit, as I asked them to, because I'm writing them nice letters almost daily and besides, this is MY JOURNAL. It is going to be hard enough to seperate myself from my parents here, given that we have what I'd call a very positive relationship and I miss their company. I need to seperate, and part of that is starting to choose which parts of my life my parents are privy to. It is necessary, and I don't appreciate them intruding on the parts I decide to keep seperate. I really don't.

All right, I've decided. If you read this blog, email me at alextree314@writeme.com and ask me for the address of the new blog. If you're my mother, butt out. Thanks.


  posted by Alex @ 2:50 PM

Tuesday, August 26, 2003  

I am so happy here.

Intellectually happy. My brain is wiggling its metaphorical toes in glee. My non-metaphorical toes are tired and sore, and my stomach is grumbling, but my brain is happy. It happened today, in a class I was almost too tired to pay attention in, the 5:00 to 6:30 - I heard an idea I'd never thought of before, and there's this wonderfull head-expanding feeling as everything tilts on its axis and realigns. Anyone ever told you that learning is addictive?

I did manage to go to dinner with people, too (Tamz, you happy?) some people that I already knew, but it's right after class, so I may have permanent dinner company. My thought & the environment class is so cool. I was worried at first because the teacher's a real good ole boy in that moderately dirty-old-man sort of way, but once you start talking he listens.

Oh, god, it's so good to go to dinner and talk with people about things you didn't think anyone else ever thought of! I'm glad I did this.

Tomorrow is sustainable development (a program that apparently has a farm attached) and then the two-mile hike to get my History of Literacy course packet in town. Oh, I love you guys, I do. I'm okay. I'm going to be okay.


  posted by Alex @ 6:50 PM

Monday, August 25, 2003  

First class today. I have another one in an hour and a half. The class was one of the ones in my program, and so the teachers requested to be called Bud and Kay and Bud went on a five-minute tangent about Finding Nemo. It is a huge two-hour class first thing in the mornings, but it is also a good class, and so I shall survive. I left feeling like crying, but not for any reason besides being tired & hungry & overwhelmed. I went to the cafeteria, and as per Tam's suggestion sat down with some people I didn't know - a bunch of dreadlocked senior girls, as it happened, who didn't talk much but were nice. One of them said some really great things about my program, which was nice because I've heard a lot of bad things too. (By the way, what is it with everyone born in 1984? Everywhere I go, the year before me has done something awful and my year pays for it. 1984, you're not on my good side.)

Oh, and it turns out the cafeteria food is edible, even if the staff say vay-gan and try to feed me cheese. I got a bean burger and a huge plate of fruit & lettuce for $5.70. So it's just the food court that's horrific.

My watch is broken, already. That's what I get for buying it from Wal-mart. It's really messing with my head, because I thought it was 1:39 and it turns out it's 12:48 and I'm totally lost and really feeling like I've travelled backwards an hour.

Tomorrow I have to either walk or take the shuttle downtown to a print shop to get the reading that's due Wednesday. Also, I need to call the health center to get my menengitis vaccination. So now I have to go look up the print shop. More later, probably. love to all

  posted by Alex @ 11:54 AM

Well, I was sad, and then I went to Club Expo and saw all the cool things that I can do here, and then I made two friends on the way to house meeting, both of them a comforting two to three years older than me. So I am happy. I have so much I need to do before tomorrow, but I'm happy.

love (I mean it!)

  posted by Alex @ 9:14 PM

Sunday, August 24, 2003  

Oh my God. It's a goddamn Haight-Asbury out there.

It's a cool town, but to be honest it's freaking me out a little. Everything is freaking me out a little. I finally got sad, and it's not so much homesick as really really lonely. I think I've done too much in too short a time & am needing to calm & readjust.

God, I hate this tank top. It's super-insulating summer wear. Obnoxious.

This morning I woke up at 7:30, half an hour before my alarm clock, and went for a walk in the woods before heading to church. Turns out church is only 20 minutes away. I got there early & ended up helping a lady set up coffee & pastries (mm pastries. I'm hungry). Turns out they have adult RE here, which is a little odd but much more like what I'm used to then sit-down church is. The service wasn't bad - there was a guest speaker on campus ministries, so it was more like an enthusiastic teach-in with singing. It is a high-energy group, and I'm glad to be there, and I already volunteered to help with forming the campus group. I was really happy with the people I met there, so I don't know why I'm so sad now - maybe because the instant ease of a crowd of UUs contrasts unpleasantly with the nervewracking unfamiliarity of the kids in my dorm. Maybe just because I'm tired and PMS-y.

After service and the campus ministry planning meeting, I decided not to bother to try to attend the rest of orientation, so I wandered downtown & poked in shops, bought glow-in-the-dark stars for my room and a book of color-in mandalas for my old church. I came back to the dorm, watched Monsoon Wedding with my suitemates, started organizing (because the rest of the week I'm going to be running way too hard to get anything done) and got really sad. So I went for a walk - the sun still sucks you outside in the afternoon, saying I'm leaving soon, come talk to me - and realized while walking that I've seriously fked up something in my hip and it hurts to walk. Great. Hurting to walk, stuck 96 steps and half a mile away from many of my classes. We like that.

I have a lot to talk and think about, but I don't really want to deal with any of it right now. I think I will go eat a granola bar and lay in my bed until I feel better.


  posted by Alex @ 4:55 PM

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